What have I done this week that is worth talking about? (As fascinating as my regular activities of eating and sleeping are, I'm sure you can read about that somewhere else far less interesting.)
Monday: I went up to London to model in the UEL Fashion Show at The Arches nightclub. The day commenced with me dumping my stuff at a temporary home, getting a taxi to the station, and then then grueling 15 minute wait for the train, in which I tried to make pass quicker by buying a hot chocolate.
Making my way down to platform 3, two pairs of eyes met with mine. Sounds romantic, huh? Sadly their D.O.B being no sooner than 1995, teamed with flat caps and trainers bigger than my bra, ruined this possible magical scenario. Not only did both pairs of eyes meet with mine, but they persisted in staring, which made me feel very self conscious, and, as a result, nearly made me lose my footing down the stairs.
The wait by the yellow line (which I obviously stood far behind - safety first kids) seemed to go on for years, and was sadly made rather uncomfortable by the close proximity of my two stalkers.
Finally, the train arrived and I hopped onto the nearest carriage.
I was safe, and was thoroughly looking forward to my hour long date with COMPANY magazine; before the two chavs thought that they would entertain me some more by changing their choice of carriage, to seats closer to mine - great.
3 stops late, one got off.
The remaining thug seemed cowardly without his accomplish, and kept his eyes to himself, before getting off at the next stop - they probably had SATs revision or something.
The only remaining nightmare I endured on that journey, was the embarrassment of the detachment of my nails from my . . . nails.
Luckily, big brain Steve over here remembered to pack the nail glue in my handbag. So sneakily I had to try and glue them back on (whilst pretending it was totally natural, no need to look) which was not quite as sly as I was hoping, and thus, managed to obtain many strange looks from the new HEAT reading passenger next to me.
Oh, she was not getting away with thinking she was better than me with her 'real deal' nails. So I made sure she saw that I was the owner of a glossy monthly, and not a cheapo weakly. That shut her up.
Arriving at Marylebone, I met up with the lovely Lauren and Craig, and together we somehow made it to London Bridge.
Upon exit, we were faced with the shock of daylight - but the even bigger shock of a dressed up, 7 foot 'Horrors of London Bridge' actor approaching us. Pleasant and witty enough, he proceeded to change his tactics from scary to flirty, and being the third wheel amongst the crowd, I was the obvious target.
Lucky me, wheeling in all the good'uns.
From arriving at the club, everything was a blur of makeup, hair, fittings, adjustments and a sneaky chicken nugget Happy Meal, which I insisted was essential.
The show went down amazingly, and I have to give it to the amazing Melissa Lazaro-Lomax for really pulling it out of the bag; all that hard work paid off!
Other than that, my life has been as bland as unsalted chips.
Revision has finally got the better of me, but sadly this does not come without its consequences - boredom eating. Channel 4 have confirmed that the airing of my new show 'From "I'll pass" to "Lard-Ass"' will be after the exam period.
And so, as the sun sets over this scenic moment, I'm going to love and leave you.
I'll end on something I found on my phone which I believe I wrote a couple of months ago:
I used to believe that people came in and out of your life for a reason; before I realised that they probably just couldnt be bothered to keep in contact." ♡