8.3.10

Heartbreak

This weekend has been eventful to say the least.

Friday morning started off with managing to get tickets to V Festival, which obviously put me into place of a good mood. Then moving on from that, pre-lash with the ladies before Libbi's 18th - and it's safe to say we were stumbling out of her front door to get into the taxi to get to the party!

One thing lead to another however, and somehow I ended up stranded at the Golf Club with a group of members and barmen who worked there; I returned home to my friends at 7am. What happened in between those six hours of the party ending and me finally getting back is a bit of a blur, but I got home safe and sound, so despite the rumours flying around, I am actually alive and I wasnt abused by a gang of men. In fact, I was treated rather like a princess, and constantly had a full glass, for the 6 hours they endured my annoyingly crunk company.

Matt

I'm pretty sure I had some lovely conversations with this young man however, who I seem to recall studies Geography at Manchester University, and seemed to impress me with his pool skills; although he clearly wasn't that good, as he never accepted the challenge to play against me - scared, definitely.

Something I've just found on my computer as well, dates back to July 2009.
After racking my brain, I cannot seem to recall what the purpose of me ever writing it was, but it's weird reading it, almost like I'm reading into the mind of someone else; which I suppose is pretty peculiar, seeing as they are thoughts I clearly must have had.

I wish I could write down five easy steps to get over a heartbreak, but I cant. I dont think that anyone knows how exactly to finally get over that one person who you felt so strongly about. Even if I could write a step-by-step guide, I'm not sure whether anyone would benefit from it - everyone is different, and therefore every relationship is entirely original.

The worst scenario, is when you've completley given yourself up to that one person. They know you like they know the lyrics to their favourite song. Every minuite that you're not with them, you spend thinking about them; the hours you spend together feel like minutes, and yet the days you spend apart feel like years.

For the first time in your life, you fully understand what it is to have someone who you feel completley yourself around. You've made a connection which is entirely different to any other relationship you've formed with anyone else. You become more of an individual as you grow and learn together, but at the same time, they're still your backbone. They are the one you turn to when you feel completley and utterly lost, and they are the ones you seek when you want someone to share your happiness. You inspire him, and similarly he motivates you.

Love is one of the most natural feelings, yet the hardest to achieve - and this is why it fascinates me; how easily people find it to snatch away from you. Why when everything seems so utterly perfect, does it suddenly come crashing down? Why is it that the ones who we care about the most, are the ones who cause us the most pain?

I'm sick of seeing people being messed around. They put up with it all because they're in love - and instead of appreciating this, their other half just uses this and wraps them more and more around their little finger. Emotionally you're at breaking point, but you carry on because you think it's what you want, and deep down, you just hope that it's what they want as well. Sometimes, you realise how you're being treated, and there's a part of you which deep down hates them - but you put everything negative behind you, because the only time you think that you're happy, is when you're with them.

All your friends cant see what you see, and you think to yourself; "well you dont love them, it's me".

I find it weird re-reading that. I find it weird that I ever even felt so strongly.

Loving and leaving,

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